People with original characters (OCs) love to ask each other questions about their characters. What's their favorite food? What do they do for fun? What's their darkest secret? Etc etc
One of the popular questions is 'what is your OCs theme song'? For me and my OC Fen, it's Till the Clouds Clear, by Lamb (the UK band).
Fenoril/Fen
In case you found this article but don't know me or my OCs - this is Fenoril/Fen. He is the main character of my comic. There's a writeup for him on the Nowhere comic site, and then there's a whole other blog of sketches related to him (he's not necessarily in-canon with these sketches).
I really do think that this song is very emotionally correct for Fen, but particularly for a specific time and headspace. I don't think I have ever explained this in depth (and frankly no one wants to read a 15 post thread detailing it). But hey, this is a blog, so I can be as long as I like.
It might help to listen to the song before reading the explanation, to at least get the vibe of it. You can listen to it here, this is from Lamb's YT channel -
Ok, I'll assume you listened to the song. I'll continue -
The background & setting
To understand the context, you need to know some of Fen and his world's story. Fenoril was a master assassin, working under the employ of his elven queen. By the time the following event unfolded, the queen was basically a tyrannical psycho bitch. Fen's job was to help keep things under her control by dispatching whoever she felt needed dispatching. Ruthlessly efficient but emotionally detached, he carried out his orders unquestioningly for many years.
This changed however, because at some point he met and fell in love with an elf woman named Vara. Fen and Vara tried to keep their relationship a secret, and they managed to do this for some time. But eventually the queen found out, and she had Vara killed (by whom, we still don't know. Not Fen.)
Probably for the first time, Fen experienced real grief, even if he didn't let it show. He continued to do his queen's bidding. The loss of Vara would not go away though. Fen eventually confirmed his that Vara's death was his queen's orders. Shortly after, he made up his mind to avenge her death, even if it meant destroying everything he knew.
So where does the song come in?
I think this song plays when Fen finally makes up his mind to avenge Vara. I think he's alone, somewhere peaceful and quiet, away from the court, the crowds, and even the shadows. The kind of place that lends itself to contemplation, and finality.
The song begins with an acoustic guitar strumming, that seems somewhat peaceful at first. It builds somewhat, the beat kicks in, and Lou Rhodes distinctive voice starts singing:
What's left to say with all that's come and gone
Words get in the way
And anyway the devil's got your tongue
And the storm brews inside
And there's nowhere to hide
It's gonna blow your cover sky high
The first verse reflects what is going on inside Fen's head and heart, as he stands in the peaceful place. He's tired from maintaining the façade of being cold and uncaring. Inside, rage and grief swirl. He knows the secret will out soon, unless something is done.
If you let this thing go
It's gonna burn, it's gonna burn
You're gonna take the whole world with you when you go
Oh, oh, oh, what you gonna do?
When the storm takes over
Oh, oh, oh, ohh, what you gonna do?
When the storm takes over
He realizes that if he doesn't do anything to avenge Vara, the pain will never go away. I think he accepts that he will die either way - from the grief, or from trying to avenge her death. (Note: Thought the 'oh, oh, oh' part was 'burn, burn, burn'. I guess either way its still suitable)
So here you are, demons screaming in your head
You try to shut them out
But they just get louder instead
And nothing you do
Can seem to break through this darkness smothering you
When it takes hold your heart turns cold
Your very soul sneaks out of you
This part is pretty much self explanatory, as he continues to wrestle with the grief and what's inside. I like the reference to demons screaming in his head, because a demon is eventually employed (by another character) to help with Fen's revenge. Also, when all is done, Fen finds that he has traded one demon (grief) for another (regret).
Ah, ah, ah, what you gonna do?
When this storm, this storm takes over you
Can you hold this thing?
Can you hold this thing?
Ooh'
Till the clouds clear' hmm' hmm'
The song kinda crescendos into the swirling mass of music, before abruptly dropping back into a quiet acoustic outtro. I think Fen wrestles with a final bout of uncertainty, before accepting the course of action he will take. Once he makes up his mind, the storm in his head clears, and he is committed to the course of action that will eventually mean the destruction of his entire realm and his queen.